Today is Valentine's Day. All day I keep thinking back to where we were a year ago on this very day. Your dad and I had the most perfect Valentine's at home dinner ever last year. One of the perks of being married to a pretty awesome chef. The meal was amazing, especially dad's mushrooms stuffed with brie, chives, and lemon juice. That was also the last time I had a glass of wine.
(I know you're thinking, surely you did not write me a letter about a meal, mom. I know you're from New Orleans, but come on!) Relax, this blog centers around you. During dinner, I tactfully and hesitantly brought up the fact that maybe possibly there might be a slim chance or maybe a really really big chance that I was pregnant. Talk about Valentines dinner conversation, especially when no one was planning on babies for another year or two.
Your dad just seemed surprised and shrugged it off. We went about enjoying our dinner, not really thinking about what the possible (inevitable) reality might be. Maybe we just wanted to have one more 'normal' evening before our lives changed forever.
Eventually that evening, your father, big brave man that he is, went and purchased a pregnancy test. It sat on the bathroom counter for quite awhile, but eventually I faced the music and within a matter of minutes we saw that baby blue plus sign.
That plus sign changed our lives. We knew it then. We were both terrified. I think we both cried that night because we realized we could no longer be selfish. We didn't know what to expect when you were here. We didn't know if we were ready to be parents. We didn't know if we could afford it. Your dad had never changed a diaper. There were so many questions.
Looking back on everything a year ago, it's amazing to see where God's brought us thanks to you. God was using you as part of his plan from the very beginning. Those questions that plagued us are not really terrifying at all. Being selfless for someone like you isn't difficult, it's the most exciting/rewarding/fun thing in the world. Who cares about shopping when you smile at me? The money thing was a waste of worry too. Thanks to God's provision, we are making all our ends meet. He even led us to the perfect house for you to grow up in. All of those things fell in to place eventually. Even dads and diaper changes have gone together seemlessly.
The most amazing thing is just how God knew you were exactly what we needed. My relationship with your father is even more significant now. We aren't just together because it's fun and we love to be together, you've given our relationship a purpose. We have a common cause. Antoine de Saint-Exupery said "Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." You made that true in our lives, and the direction we are looking at is towards you. We are two completely transformed people these days. We aren't completely selfless yet, but we're getting there. We couldn't be the parents you need without God and it's absolutely amazing where he's brought us in the past year. We love you buddy!
A year ago today you were the size of a poppyseed. Here is your first picture taken at the beginning of March when you were about 6 weeks along.