Created in His Image- a little prophecy

When I received an email from Sweet Susannah regarding this blog topic I was both excited and nervous.  To be honest, I have struggled to find a topic I could really run with that was deep in any way.  I have these ideas, but can't seem to find the time to put them out there.  That and so many of them still seem too abstract in my head to formulate into anything.  It's frustrating because those spiritual/walk with the Lord posts are my favorites.  And to be honest, I've been learning some amazing things in 1 Chronicles/Jeremiah/John where I'm currently reading.  So I'm nervous.  But I am praying for the words to come.  And I know God promises that I can wait in expectation for His Spirit to come.

So I did.  And I have.  And I'm going to go off on this topic to a place that might not really be considered to be about being in His image, per se.  But I've become more and more overwhelmed by the need to speak this out lately.  I say this with love and a desire for you to know Christ so so so deeply.

Christ walked with conviction.  We are called to walk with conviction.  John 4:24 says we must worship the Father in Spirit and Truth.  I don't know if you are as painfully aware as I am, but this postmodern, relativistic world we live in doesn't hold to dogmatic truth.  That's great for the world.  But Christians- we are called to walk against grain of the world.  We are called to be Christ to the world and to do that, we have to look/act/be different.  Christ warned us over and over that all men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved (Matthew 10:22).  Christian- if your opinions on things are such that the world admires your openness, you might not be walking in the image and conviction of Christ.  No I am not endorsing you to be rude.  Conviction has to do with how you stand firm in what you believe.  You can love everyone without compromising what you believe.  I don't have to love the sinner by acting like the sinner.  I am saying love the sinner like Christ did- by calling him or her out of sin (He always did this gently in a 'this is what God says way' not a 'your wrong way') and walking with him so he can go and sin no more.  There's no compromise in that.  None.

I am the first to acknowledge that it's hard to live as Christ did.  I struggle daily with being selfish.  And honestly, I am way too quick to use certain words I've never quite managed to glean out of my vocabulary.  I know it takes serious resolve to stay pure in a relationship as a Christian.  I've been on the failure side of that with Michael.  And praise the Lord, I've managed to walk in the Spirit of Christ with Jimmy.  It is a struggle.  But we can't just give up defeated and say oh well, I'm just going to wallow in my sin and embrace it.  We are not to sin all the more so grace can abound all the more.  Paul specifically addresses this.  Christ (albeit perfectly) fought and fought against Satan's temptation. No matter how many times we fail, Christian, as an image bearer of Christ to the world, we had better keep fighting.  We have a standard= Christ.  We are called to live by the standard.  And we thank God for grace when we can't.  But grace doesn't change the standard.  

Therefore I urge you, in view of God's mercy (grace/love), to offer your bodies (image of Christ and what He did) as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship (which we do in Spirit and Truth).  Do not conform (you ought to live different) any longer to the pattern(thinking-what is right/wrong/truth) of this world, but be transformed by the renewing (know your Bible) of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. ~ Romans 12: 1-2

Ladies (and gents), wayyyy too many Christians look, believe, think, and act like the world.  With every compromise on purity, every compromise in relationships, every compromise on excess, every compromise on what we fill our minds with, every compromise with politics, we sully Christ's image.  I am so disappointed in the Church as a whole today.  Anything goes.  And half the time church is nothing more than a pep talk or better yet a freak show entertainment set with great bands and some cool set props.  This isn't Bible based Christianity.  As for those of you who say the gospel needs to be 'relevant'....

I'm pretty sure the need for salvation is 'relevant' to all people.  Since all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.. (but we are) justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus. Romans 3:23-24.  There's no way to need a live lion and live lamb on the stage to explain to people why they need Christ.  Sorry.  Why don't you take your excess prop money and spend it on mission trips.  There are about 3 billion people who've never heard of Christ.  Don't think suburbia needs your daggum cool church props while all these unreached go to hell because no will come tell them the gospel.  Christ healed and spoke truth into people's lives.  That's all anyone needs.  And my guess is, in this world today, people need to hear/see/taste truth more than ever before.

For those of you that say the Bible needs to be relevant to the times because people and opinions have changed... well I think that's just plain dangerous.  First of all, it is irrelevant again because the point of Christ is that all have sinned and fallen short and we are justified by grace.  (see above).  Since no one in modern times has stopped sinning, that is not valid.  Second of all, Christ made clear what standards fell away from the Law with his arrival and what standards didn't.  Standards of purity, standards on the value of life, standards on what is sin never changed.  What changed was our access to grace.  Grace is not this magical thing that makes it possible to live lives of excess, selfishness, entertain me.  Grace doesn't reward us with strokes to our ego, it's ok if you don't choose purity, date who you want, choose what you do with your body.  No- it's not ok.  Grace covers the mistakes, but it definitely expects you to be looking up to Christ and changing your behavior.

I am no perfect person.  And I fail at looking like Christ way way too much.  But I grieve so so so much for my fellow millenial generation.  This generation just struggles with a standard of truth.  Too many of us are willing to cross over the battle lines to be friends- and leave the truth behind us.  We need to find a way to hold to the truth when we are out loving others.  What good is our social justice, our open mindedness, if it waters down who Christ is, what he stood for?  And ohh the atrocity of the lost not hearing and receiving Christ because we are too worried about blending our image of Him in with the world!

Dear Christian, I pray you know Christ so intimately that His glory is worth far more than your desires or your reputation or your friendships.  Seek Him first, and all the things you want will be added to you.

His Love Always,

Thistle

Summertime

Now that I am officially moved out of my classroom, have helped with interviews for possible Lee teachers, and have turned in my classroom keys, summer has begun.  My garage is full of books upon children's books and files upon teacher files.  I hope you weren't planning on coming to visit me this summer, because my guest room is basically full of 'guests' from my classroom.

Summer is my time to be productive.  I'm not much of a 'relaxer'.  I have a hard time just sitting.  Not that I am a social butterfly, because I definitely am not.  I just like to work.  Today I literally had the best day.  I intentionally woke myself up at 6:30, got Jude and I up, dressed, fed, and out the door by 7:30.  I was the very first oil change of the day at good ole Wal- Mart.  I accomplished some of my leftover grocery shopping from yesterday (I never remember everything I need).  We were home by 8:45.  I unpacked the groceries, and dug up all the hedge grass on the side of my house as seen in the above photo.  By 10:15, I had finished that project and then had gotten Jude and I to our neighborhood pool :)

After a couple hours at the pool, we came home.  He ate lunch, took his nap.  I cleaned up a few things, did my quiet time, and took a nap.  He woke up and we went to the library.  He picked out 2 train books and a dragon book.  Of course.  And I found the book I believe my teacher book club group will be reading for June.  Score!  (although I am also reading a book of my own choosing.  Anyone else out there read multiple books at a time?)

When we got home, coffee was necessary.  I brewed a pot and did some laundry, got Jude dinner, got my dinner ready.

If you saw my IG post yesterday, I mentioned that I drink tea on the regular.  Today I brewed a wee pot of pomegranate black tea, which incidentally is probably my very most favorite.  Unsweetened, of course.

After dinner, I got back to work on my garden.  I watered my plants that I have in pots, as well as my hydrangea I bought this weekend.  I should have taken a pic of it, as I am ridiculously excited about it.  I love them, but it's so hot here.  I think I found the perfect place to plant them though.  It's pretty shady and the soil there stays fairly wet.  If it continues to thrive, I will be buying a few more!

Jude and also planted some ivy and flowers along the side as seen above.  Not pictured will be the lattice I will need to buy in order for the ivy to have something to climb.  Jude loves to help with gardening, although I mostly just let him fill up his watering can.  It will be fun as he grows to teach him to care for things.

On the right side of the picture above you can see all the random plants I have.  I found a packet of wildflower seeds in my garage back in March and decided to just plant them and see what happens.  It's a big of a mess, and I have no idea what to do about it.  Some of them are pretty like these.  Some of them just look like the weeds they are.  I'm not really sure what I want to do with it, and I'm not one to act quickly, so who knows what I will do with it.

What I do know is that I am enjoying gardening.  I like working and cultivating things and seeing how they turn out.  I like pruning and trimming rose bushes (although I have a lot to learn...).   And I can't help but think that this is a bit of a worshipful experience since our first job was to cultivate the earth.  In fact, gardening was our job before the fall even happened.  Heck, our first home was right in the midst of a garden.  It's interesting to think about.  Like it's where we belong.  It's also interesting how fulfilling a good day's work really is.  It's a good reminder that we aren't created to just take take take all the time.  We were created to do something, whatever that something is.

Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord ~ Colossians 3:23

Me, raw and unfiltered



I am human.  I am imperfect.  I fail.  I want to convey reality on my blog as much as possible, but if I'm honest there are plenty of things that in the text of the story, don't get accurately relayed.  I suppose that isn't terrible.  My blog doesn't need to be a list of everything I did wrong that day.  But my prayer for my blog-my life- my mission is that people would never doubt that I am a sinner saved by grace.  That I am the least of these.  That were in not for God's grace I would be *fill in the blank for that sinner*. 

A couple months ago I wrote a post on having had an abortion.  It has been read 1000 times on my blog.  If you look at my blog stats- my piddly little blog that it is- it's pretty insane.  It was featured on The Identify Shift a couple weeks ago, where by the afternoon it had been read 600 times.  And counting.  It's probably been read nearly 2000 times in 2 months.  Insane.  And it's being featured today on Lily Among Thorns. 

It's still scary to know I'm out there, raw and unfiltered, for so many new people.  Beautifully, the majority of people respond with grace and love.  I have truly seen how the truth has set me free in this way.  I opened my soul up.  And the Love of the Body of Christ has filled that pain 1000x over. 

Not everyone responds like that.  Recently,  I was reminded again how people can get so caught up in their causes they forget the people behind them.  No matter how awful a person seems, they still bear Christ's image.  Somehow we've got to reach them.

Here's the thing- my passion, my motivation behind my story is that Jesus is the Friend of Sinners.  Christians seem to think we are called to be "God the Father", who is the judge.  But we aren't.  We are called to be "God the Son".  Christ was an intercessor, a redeemer, the one who goes into the filthy stinky dirty grimy pit of our lives and puts his hand down in the midst of it and pulls someone out.  Christ didn't spend much time judging and holding banners.  He saw needs and He met them himself.  Not through picket lines, but through food lines, and healing lines.  To be Christ like is to put down the cause for the sake of pulling someone out and straight to God.  Pulling out is loving.  Not condemning.  Allow the Holy Spirit to convict.  Our job is to reach out, being willing to touch the least of these, and try to pull them into the light.  

There is a song by Casting Crowns called Jesus Friend of Sinners.  That is the song of the heart of my mission.  I don't know where Christ is leading me.  But that is where I want to pour out my life.  With the sinners.  Because I too, am one of them.  And but for the grace of God, I still would be.
 

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven ~ Matthew 5:3

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ~1 Corinthians 13:2

Teaching the ABCs is Missional

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly... ~ Colossians 3:16

Friday I got a new student, which in low income schools happens pretty often.  Their lives are so transient.  I teach 2nd grade.  The average 2nd grader should be able to read things like Magic Tree House easily at this point in the year.  At a school like mine, that's not usually the case.

I read with this student that afternoon, just to try to gage where I wanted her to be as far as reading groups go (they are ability grouped).  Started a few levels below where she should be.  And we had to keep going back.  And back.  And back.  When she came to the word 'have', she tried nav/mav.  And so I stopped her.  I asked her what the first letter in that word was.  She thought and thought and finally came up with H.  I asked her what that letter said.  She said /n/.  And suddenly I realized why she had just completely bombed an end of kinder book.

On Monday I will have to pick up reading with her, but it's pretty safe to say if she doesn't know her consonant sounds, she is barely reading.  It's heartbreaking.

And then when I was in church last night, Chandler was discussing the importance of reading parts of scripture and just stopping to think about their meaning and impact on your life.  And my heart broke for all these students like "Tay".

I have always known the importance of reading for a life skill.  And in the back of my mind I know the historical reality of Christians starting schools and what not.  But it never occurred to me how vital it was for children to learn how to read for their spiritual good.

Think about it.  If students like "Tay" never learn to read, they can never read the Bible.  If they can never read the Bible, they can never truly intimately come to know Christ.  If they can't understand and think about what they read, they can never make sense of how the words on those pages apply to them.  They can't make sense of the God who desperately loves them and desires to know them.  If they can't read it, they will be forever dependent on someone else to feed them spiritually and can never grow.

Reading is foundational for being prepared to know Christ.  I don't know who out of my class of public school students will ever become a Christian.  I do know I pray for their salvation.  And I do know God is sovereign.

But now I know that I have been entrusted with the gift of building up their tools to access God.  How humbling is that?  And it just nourished my heart in so many ways.  It spurred me on.  I'm not just teaching letter sounds or chunking or character traits or inferencing.  I'm teaching kids the skills they will need to hopefully one day understand who God is and what He's done for them.

Reading is a mission field.  And for that I am so very thankful

::This will be linked up for Into the Word Wednesday::

Kind Words

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. ~ Proverbs 12:25

This is the Bible verse I have been memorizing this week.  I'm trying to commit some anxiety verses to memory, and my counselor suggested this one.  It was short and easy to start with.  **if you have any good recommendations for anxiety related verses to memorize, share please :) ** 

Monday I came home, wrote a blog about Hebrews and started this art journal entry.  I'm sort of trying out art journaling just as a way to release some of the hidden thoughts/emotions/truths inside me.  I am finding such a release from it, and hope I will keep up with it.  

Tuesday, Wednesday, today I have gone through teaching following the Christmas break.  My kids have been as lovely as they know how to be.  But I just feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  And it's completely related to the reception of not kind words.  Not to say that I have been verbally assaulted, because I haven't.  But have you ever noticed how the atmosphere of a place can be completely set by the tone?  How you can be saying (or listening to) perfectly legitimate things being said, but because of the way they are said your left with nothing by negativity.  Some people respond defensively.  Some people get angry.  I tend to withdraw and inwardly try to deal with very hurt feelings.  I don't do well with poor delivery.  But a positive delivery.  Well that inspires me.  Energizes me.  Helps me persevere.  A kind word cheers me up.

It makes me wonder a lot about myself.  Conviction wise.  Just like adults have the power to set my atmosphere, I have the power to set the atmosphere in my classroom.  I know I've delivered messages to my kids on days where I'm worn out that weigh them down.  Or come home to Jude and delivered snappy messages that weigh him down.  And it breaks my heart.  I don't want to be that way.  I want to nurture and be the perfect, godly teacher and mother.  But I'm learning to accept that by myself I am too weak to be the person I want to be.  But praise God, He is my strength.  

I don't have any control over whether people around me will approach situations positively or negatively.  But I have control over how I respond.  I can respond to their negativity with love and gentleness.  I can set a tone in my classroom that is based on kind words cheering them up.  I can cry out to God who takes hold of my right hand and know He will help me.  This year I'm looking to achieve 'free'.  Today I want to be free from regrets over my failures, free from the power of others words weighing me down, and free to allow myself to depend fully on God's help.