Book Club

One summer a wonderful friend of mine started a book club for all the teachers from Lee Elementary to join.  I'm not even sure how many years ago this was anymore.  Maybe 5.  We've read a lot of books together during the summers.  Stalked a Denton murderers house together.  Eaten a lot of brunch foods together.  Watched each other have babies.  Watched those babies grow up.  Seen babies happen who no one expected to happen.  The original founder moved to Seattle last year, but book club keeps going.  One of our members is moving to West Texas this summer.  A new teacher has since joined our ranks.  I am sure these movements won't be the last both in and out of the group.

Sometimes you are just looking down at your book and thinking about book club and you realized you are blessed to have something that has been a part of your life for close to 5 years.  So thankful for the amazing people I got to know while I was teaching at Lee.  #1000gifts

At book club this week #timemarcheson - I think I was probably pregnant when book club started.

My Calling, right now

Today I read this blog which I loved.  Throughout the years I've followed and unfollowed (and followed again sometimes) a variety of blogs.  At my core, I am an avid reader.  I will waste most of my precious hours reading thoughts, thinking about those thoughts, and pondering changing my own thoughts in response.  This blog is the kind that can make me do just that.

Lately, I just haven't been blogging.  And if you were to keep track of all the blogs I used to read vs the ones I read now, you would know a precious few blogs are still around on my blog feed.  It's not that I didn't love those other blogs, it's just there is so much to the whole blogging community thing that I just don't think is part of my assignment right now.  For awhile, I thought maybe it could be.  Who doesn't like the idea of lots of people reading what they write?  I'd love to be able to write and write all the time.  But it just doesn't seem to fit into my assignment right now.

I could probably spend an entire blog post on all the things I can't do right now, but where's the fun in that.  Instead, there are so many things that I can do where I am right now.

So here is a list of the simple things I'm called to do right now:

1- I am called to Shepherd.  I read this week in Ezekiel about God's role as the Shepherd in Israel's life, and I immediately thought of all teachers (and moms).  It was so beautiful.  v15-16: I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign Lord.  I will search for the lost and bring back the strays.  I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak... I will shepherd the flock with justice.  I just love that.  The environment I am called to create is one of peace and welcoming and home and belonging and healing and strengthening and freedom and justice.  That's not an easy job when you are dealing with 'sheep' who throw temper tantrums or talk back or try to see what they can get away with.  Sheep who are forgetful and tired and distracted.  It's certainly never ending.  Yet, God's chasing after my own heart is similarly never ending.  I just impulsively responding to Jude's disruption of my typing with frustration.  And God had to remind me of what I was in the middle of typing.  And remind me to actually do it.  It's not easy for me in all my selfish humanity.  But I do know this is my assignment.

2- I am called to wait and be patient.  Jimmy and I have this amazing relationship.  I am beyond blessed with his presence.  He is just someone I plain love to be around.  He stretches me- to be a little calmer, a little more patient, a little more understanding (I have very OCD like tendencies about my kitchen).  He models for me what service looks like when it's truly lived out.  I am assigned to learn from him and follow him.  Yet, we are still within dating boundaries.  So sometimes I have to learn to be content where I am.

3- I am called to encourage.  This is something that I am really starting to see as the how God can use me right now sort of thing.  I don't have time to serve in my church.  I barely have time to get to church each week.  I'm not the kind of person who does well juggling lots of things.  I need downtime- not because I'm selfish or lazy.  I honestly am just a truly introverted, highly sensitive person who becomes overwhelmed.  It really limits what I can do.  What I am realizing is that through the discipline of 1000 gifts, God has helped me become gifted at seeing the good.  I can share that perspective with teachers, parents, friends, etc.  That really is a needed service in this world.  So many people are weighed down by so many things.  Encouragement in a 'dirty laundry news society' is truly needed.  And I can do that.  I love doing it!  I could spend all day encouraging others.  That's an assignment I feel enabled (by Him) and called to do.  And I just really love it!  Christ has filled me greatly the last year plus.  He only fills what He expects to flow over and on to others.  There is so much joy in encouraging others!

4- I am called to trust.  For those of you that have followed my life awhile, you know that anxiety has been my constant companion.  I think I have always had undercurrents of anxiety all my life.  I am one of those highly sensitive people.  I am a true melancholic introvert (as in the personality type) and stress easily over my own perceived imperfections.  After Michael and divorce, those things just hit the fan, and anxiety turned to full fledged panic.  Right now, I am in the middle of weaning myself off medication, which was very much my saving grace.  I'm nervous that it won't work.  Nervous that I will end up back on them.  Nervous I'm perpetually flawed.  But I know perfect love drives out fear.  I know God is good.  I know even in His presence, the bad is used for good.  With that knowledge I am called to trust.  I choose to believe that God has the power to heal me from never needing medication again.  If he does that it will be for His glory alone.  I choose to believe that if he doesn't He has a reason for my continued struggle with anxiety.  I know He loves me.  And love like His covers it all.

My assignment is pretty simple.  Yet it is also very full.  It isn't the kind of assignment that will make me known in popular circles.  That's ok.  I know that this is where I am, this is where I am called to be. I can't do it all, but I can be faithful with what I am called to do.  In the parable of the talents, some were entrusted with many talents, some a few.  Yet, all those who were faithful with their talents were told 'well done' at the end.  I may have just been entrusted with simple talents, but whether my talents are big and mighty or small and mundane, the point has always been to be faithful with them.  And that, I can do :)

Summertime

Now that I am officially moved out of my classroom, have helped with interviews for possible Lee teachers, and have turned in my classroom keys, summer has begun.  My garage is full of books upon children's books and files upon teacher files.  I hope you weren't planning on coming to visit me this summer, because my guest room is basically full of 'guests' from my classroom.

Summer is my time to be productive.  I'm not much of a 'relaxer'.  I have a hard time just sitting.  Not that I am a social butterfly, because I definitely am not.  I just like to work.  Today I literally had the best day.  I intentionally woke myself up at 6:30, got Jude and I up, dressed, fed, and out the door by 7:30.  I was the very first oil change of the day at good ole Wal- Mart.  I accomplished some of my leftover grocery shopping from yesterday (I never remember everything I need).  We were home by 8:45.  I unpacked the groceries, and dug up all the hedge grass on the side of my house as seen in the above photo.  By 10:15, I had finished that project and then had gotten Jude and I to our neighborhood pool :)

After a couple hours at the pool, we came home.  He ate lunch, took his nap.  I cleaned up a few things, did my quiet time, and took a nap.  He woke up and we went to the library.  He picked out 2 train books and a dragon book.  Of course.  And I found the book I believe my teacher book club group will be reading for June.  Score!  (although I am also reading a book of my own choosing.  Anyone else out there read multiple books at a time?)

When we got home, coffee was necessary.  I brewed a pot and did some laundry, got Jude dinner, got my dinner ready.

If you saw my IG post yesterday, I mentioned that I drink tea on the regular.  Today I brewed a wee pot of pomegranate black tea, which incidentally is probably my very most favorite.  Unsweetened, of course.

After dinner, I got back to work on my garden.  I watered my plants that I have in pots, as well as my hydrangea I bought this weekend.  I should have taken a pic of it, as I am ridiculously excited about it.  I love them, but it's so hot here.  I think I found the perfect place to plant them though.  It's pretty shady and the soil there stays fairly wet.  If it continues to thrive, I will be buying a few more!

Jude and also planted some ivy and flowers along the side as seen above.  Not pictured will be the lattice I will need to buy in order for the ivy to have something to climb.  Jude loves to help with gardening, although I mostly just let him fill up his watering can.  It will be fun as he grows to teach him to care for things.

On the right side of the picture above you can see all the random plants I have.  I found a packet of wildflower seeds in my garage back in March and decided to just plant them and see what happens.  It's a big of a mess, and I have no idea what to do about it.  Some of them are pretty like these.  Some of them just look like the weeds they are.  I'm not really sure what I want to do with it, and I'm not one to act quickly, so who knows what I will do with it.

What I do know is that I am enjoying gardening.  I like working and cultivating things and seeing how they turn out.  I like pruning and trimming rose bushes (although I have a lot to learn...).   And I can't help but think that this is a bit of a worshipful experience since our first job was to cultivate the earth.  In fact, gardening was our job before the fall even happened.  Heck, our first home was right in the midst of a garden.  It's interesting to think about.  Like it's where we belong.  It's also interesting how fulfilling a good day's work really is.  It's a good reminder that we aren't created to just take take take all the time.  We were created to do something, whatever that something is.

Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord ~ Colossians 3:23

Teaching the ABCs is Missional

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly... ~ Colossians 3:16

Friday I got a new student, which in low income schools happens pretty often.  Their lives are so transient.  I teach 2nd grade.  The average 2nd grader should be able to read things like Magic Tree House easily at this point in the year.  At a school like mine, that's not usually the case.

I read with this student that afternoon, just to try to gage where I wanted her to be as far as reading groups go (they are ability grouped).  Started a few levels below where she should be.  And we had to keep going back.  And back.  And back.  When she came to the word 'have', she tried nav/mav.  And so I stopped her.  I asked her what the first letter in that word was.  She thought and thought and finally came up with H.  I asked her what that letter said.  She said /n/.  And suddenly I realized why she had just completely bombed an end of kinder book.

On Monday I will have to pick up reading with her, but it's pretty safe to say if she doesn't know her consonant sounds, she is barely reading.  It's heartbreaking.

And then when I was in church last night, Chandler was discussing the importance of reading parts of scripture and just stopping to think about their meaning and impact on your life.  And my heart broke for all these students like "Tay".

I have always known the importance of reading for a life skill.  And in the back of my mind I know the historical reality of Christians starting schools and what not.  But it never occurred to me how vital it was for children to learn how to read for their spiritual good.

Think about it.  If students like "Tay" never learn to read, they can never read the Bible.  If they can never read the Bible, they can never truly intimately come to know Christ.  If they can't understand and think about what they read, they can never make sense of how the words on those pages apply to them.  They can't make sense of the God who desperately loves them and desires to know them.  If they can't read it, they will be forever dependent on someone else to feed them spiritually and can never grow.

Reading is foundational for being prepared to know Christ.  I don't know who out of my class of public school students will ever become a Christian.  I do know I pray for their salvation.  And I do know God is sovereign.

But now I know that I have been entrusted with the gift of building up their tools to access God.  How humbling is that?  And it just nourished my heart in so many ways.  It spurred me on.  I'm not just teaching letter sounds or chunking or character traits or inferencing.  I'm teaching kids the skills they will need to hopefully one day understand who God is and what He's done for them.

Reading is a mission field.  And for that I am so very thankful

::This will be linked up for Into the Word Wednesday::

Freight Train

One of Jude's favorite books is Freight Train by Donald Crews.  It was one of the very first board books he got.  At first, I think he liked it because the pictures were so bold and easy to see.  Now he just honestly loves trains.  (Convenient since his nursery is decorated with vintage train things...)  Anyway, it's funny because he really just likes this page.  Oh sometimes we will read other pages, but pretty much it's just this one page.  I sound like a broken record "red caboose at the back, orange tank car next, yellow hopper car".  In fact, I just typed that from memory.  Today I kept repeating this and Jude just smiled in sheer delight.  I guess he likes warm colors.  I'm not sure why else he would be that interested in this page and none others.