Rest 2015

I must confess I have become quite disenfranchised with current Christian movements as of late. I'm not sure where my break came. I just know it is uncomfortable. Arguing within the church has never been prudent or useful to me. I've mostly always felt that as long as we are ultimately gospel focused and Christ focused, the varied differences weren't important. I do still agree with that to most extents. It's just here lately when I scroll through my Facebook feed I want to chuck my phone across the room.

Sigh. I'm not even sure why I'm so exhausted with it. Perhaps it's the "this is what you should do" attitude behind so much of it. I have certainly always been one to buck anyone's my way or the highway attitude. Currently though, a lot of it has to do with having read the bible cover to cover. Context makes things so much different than a verse here and there glance. A lot of things that are current waves of belief I 100% supported a year ago.  Then this year I also finished reading the Bible cover to cover.  And I realized many things, but one of which is some of these popular ideas are out of context.  That doesn't mean that those ideas are bad- as long as they are recognized as a personal, God given passion.  And not a mandate.  There is this air of if you don't support XYZ you are sinning or not a good Christian.  And given the slight lack of context some of these things have, that's a very dangerous attitude to have.

It's exhausting to be bombarded with opinions. Because what I really love is bible study. I could read my bible all day every day. I have hour long prayer and quiet times easily each day. And if I had the time I would be able to clock more hours. I don't say that to toot my horn. I just say that because that is what I love.   I don't know what Gods purpose for me is. But I do know he would be most likely to use my love of scripture more than anything. Simply because it is such a natural flow. My mind is an active place - and it's a God given trait. Again for His glory at some point to be sure.  That is my passion.  That is not the only possible passion.

 

But what I read in popular Christianity and what I read going straight through the bible don't always line up. It's not that the ideas are terrible. It's just we are making laws out of our passions. We are so apt to hash out our physical diversity but it's the spiritual diversity we struggle with and that really seperates. We have such low tolerance of other denominations. And we blanket our passions as being for all Christians. Forgetting that God can be just as glorified by my passion for scripture as He can your passion for  the homeless. We just aren't called to be the same. And it's ok. And probably even needed. I for one am  ready for us to be more aware of the possibility that we don't have the be all end all passion. Because I just don't want to feel like I need to hide my true self from others' opinions anymore.

 

I have done the one word goal for I don't know 4-5 years now.  Last year it was Laugh- and I certainly broke free from a lot of anxiety.  But this year I am going with REST.  I'm taking a rest from other people's opinions.  I'm taking a rest from the pressure to be the best teacher.  I'm taking a rest with myself and my many imperfections.  I'm taking a rest from the imperfections of others.  I'm resting from my own opinions I think.  I just want to rest in focus on God alone- and all the rest can fall where it will.

 

It's possible another good word would be Purge.  Because I just want to get rid of the distractions and the discouragements and 'others focused things'.  I want to purge my belongings so I can rest without the clutter of my excess.  So cheers to you 2015.  Because this is the year that I am resting in who I am in Christ.  Because I'm not who you are in Christ.  And that's ok.  I have no doubt that God has a plan for my life.  And I have no doubt that His plan for you is different.  And that both- though they be wildly different- are good.

Confession

Confession: Jude still drinks out of bottles.  I really did try putting his milk in his sippy cups for awhile, but getting Jude to drink whole milk has been heck.  I tried a little spoon of sugar, but that was hit or miss.  I tried chocolate, but I really hated the idea of giving it to him.  I tried it in sippy cups and that was out and out refused.

Then I discovered 1 drop of vanilla.  And Jude looooooooooves it.  I think he would drink milk all day like this.  But he won't drink it out of a sippy cup.  So it becomes one of those things where you debate whether to listen to what the doctor says or do what seems to work for your child.  At the end of the day, I want my child to drink milk.  And for now, this works.  We'll try taking the sippy cup another day.