Lent, Reformed

There's something that has been on my mind today, and that is Lent.  Being a reformed evangelical, it's definitely not something that I really hear much of actually at church.  I've never felt a compulsion to do it, because technically Lent in its modern practice, is not specifically indicated in the Bible.  (meaning it's more a tradition...)  However, I do know that fasting is.

I've never really fasted, simply because health wise, it doesn't work for me.  But, I have given up things over time and seen great results (post on that for another day).  Today though, I've been mulling the idea of participating in Lent.  Not so I can give anything up or try to conquer a bad habit, but because "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead" ~ Phillipiams 3:10-11. 

 I want to know Christ deeper, focus on Him more intently.  I already have a set time where I read through my Bible, and pray.  But for the next 40 days, I'm going to give up some extra time I'd normally spend online perusing through blogs.  And I am going to seek to know Christ.  Better.  I want to know the POWER of his resurrection.  I mean how often do I really try to know and reflect on the power of it all.  The reality that I am terribly unrighteous.  The reality of how grace called me from the pit.  The reality of all that I have been saved from and saved to.  

Giving up more of my precious little time is scary and daunting.  But oh the glorious thought of arriving at the end of 40 days knowing Christ increasingly more intimate, increasingly more gloriously.  I want to know Christ.

And with that thought, I'm going to seek him, and seek with him with all I've got this season.

As God would have it, this was my latest art journal.  The prompts right now for February have to do with the secret garden of your heart.  I always take their prompts and make it more Bible based.  And I love the idea of God cultivating the garden of my heart, the idea of Him walking with me there just as He walked intimately with Adam and Eve.  It's amazing how fitting this piece is for where my heart is right now.  I want the quiet intimacy of time alone with Christ this season....

See my new "Sweetly Linking" tab to see who I'm linking up with today.

Thankful Thursday/Fab Five

1.  Thankful for warm weather.  (Technically it was only 54* but after the past weeks of 30s it feels fantastic!)  And for scarves in my hair.  I heart the bohemian look.

2.  Thankful for this new mug from Target.  So simple.  But I am just loving it each morning... and afternoon... and you get the idea.

3.  Thankful for this little boy.  And the absolute joy I experience with running around the park with him on Sunday morning.  When you are a working momma, and you miss out on soooo much, these moments are just so precious.  I even feel thankful for getting to make his lunch while he sits and watches TV.  Because normally, he eats lunch without me.

4.  I am thankful for quiet times with the Lord.  For Jesus Calling, which always is exactly what I need. For Ecclesiastes, which is one of the books I'm currently reading through.  That book is so encouraging for people like me who like to make sure everything is perfect and worry so much.  It's all meaningless. I am loving learning that I just need to focus on eating, drinking, being thankful, and doing the work that God gave me to do.  Life is so much simpler than I thought.  Such a great book!  (I know I say that after every book, but seriously.  The Bible.  So good)

5.  I am thankful for art journaling!!!!!!!  Oh man.  I love hunting through magazines for words and phrases and pictures that inspire me.  I like putting them all together based on whatever I feel the Holy Spirit has been telling me through his word.  I love the way it makes me reflect on his word.  I am loving this theme of acceptance.  I love each stroke of the paintbrush.  It really feels like a little piece of anxiety exits my soul with each one.

This week was kinda hard.  But it ended so well.  And I really have so many more things I'm not listing.  God is so good!

Accepting the Unknown- Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for:

Lots of rain in North Texas.  I live near one of the lakes in the area, and I drive over a bridge for that lake every morning and every afternoon when I go to work, anytime I go grocery shopping, anywhere. It's been beyond depressing the past 2 years watching what was once a beautiful, wild lake marsh area turn to dry land.  I am not being facetious.  Literally.  Dry.  I have prayed for a good soaking rain every day for a long time now.  So thankful that we got so much, and it's actually been raining lightly today.  We still need more of it, but I am so thankful for what we have gotten!

I am thankful for one of the most brilliant sunsets I have ever seen the morning following all that rain.  Isn't that just like God!  He sends tragic downpours into our lives, sometimes with little warning.  It can seem to last forever.  But there comes a morning you wake up to the most brilliant dawn, and you remember that God has been faithful and loving all along.

I am thankful for a lovely Friday with this little guy.  We stopped by the park while it was 65* out.  (another cold spell hit this morning)  We ran and climbed.  Then we came home, ordered pizza, made a 'pirate campout', watched 'Up', and drank hot chocolate.  Jimmy, who is the biggest sport imaginable, also joined us for all these riveting activities.  You know you've found a good one when he's willing to spend his Friday doing this kinds of things!  Side note- I know a lot of girls like the Notebook.  I will never fully understand the obsession, just because to me that story was told not so well.  However, the idea of being in love till your old I do actually love.  Up is kind of my version of the notebook.  I love the idea of converting an old house, I love the idea of doing just regular old life, I love the idea of wanting to go on adventures.  It's mainly the mutual love of adventuring that gets me.  Bucket list- adventuring!

Last I am thankful for art journaling- which is a really fun way to process all the things I'm thinking right now.  I feel like God really spoke to me today through Ruth ch1 and 1 Peter ch1 about accepting the unknown.  Just the way Ruth accepted what could have been a really lonely life by following Naomi.  And 1 Peter opens with talking about how we have hope through trials.  There is so much unknown to the Christian life.  And we are told over and over that we are strangers in this world.  Yet we have this Hope which is Christ Jesus- thankful. for. THAT.

Kind Words

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. ~ Proverbs 12:25

This is the Bible verse I have been memorizing this week.  I'm trying to commit some anxiety verses to memory, and my counselor suggested this one.  It was short and easy to start with.  **if you have any good recommendations for anxiety related verses to memorize, share please :) ** 

Monday I came home, wrote a blog about Hebrews and started this art journal entry.  I'm sort of trying out art journaling just as a way to release some of the hidden thoughts/emotions/truths inside me.  I am finding such a release from it, and hope I will keep up with it.  

Tuesday, Wednesday, today I have gone through teaching following the Christmas break.  My kids have been as lovely as they know how to be.  But I just feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  And it's completely related to the reception of not kind words.  Not to say that I have been verbally assaulted, because I haven't.  But have you ever noticed how the atmosphere of a place can be completely set by the tone?  How you can be saying (or listening to) perfectly legitimate things being said, but because of the way they are said your left with nothing by negativity.  Some people respond defensively.  Some people get angry.  I tend to withdraw and inwardly try to deal with very hurt feelings.  I don't do well with poor delivery.  But a positive delivery.  Well that inspires me.  Energizes me.  Helps me persevere.  A kind word cheers me up.

It makes me wonder a lot about myself.  Conviction wise.  Just like adults have the power to set my atmosphere, I have the power to set the atmosphere in my classroom.  I know I've delivered messages to my kids on days where I'm worn out that weigh them down.  Or come home to Jude and delivered snappy messages that weigh him down.  And it breaks my heart.  I don't want to be that way.  I want to nurture and be the perfect, godly teacher and mother.  But I'm learning to accept that by myself I am too weak to be the person I want to be.  But praise God, He is my strength.  

I don't have any control over whether people around me will approach situations positively or negatively.  But I have control over how I respond.  I can respond to their negativity with love and gentleness.  I can set a tone in my classroom that is based on kind words cheering them up.  I can cry out to God who takes hold of my right hand and know He will help me.  This year I'm looking to achieve 'free'.  Today I want to be free from regrets over my failures, free from the power of others words weighing me down, and free to allow myself to depend fully on God's help.