"The thistle is a prickly flower, aye, but how it is sweetly worn."
Thursday, March 21, 2013
I'm thankful for this guy
I'm totally cheating and combining my camping trip with my thankful post. But I figure I learned a lot of good stuff that night, and what worth more thankfulness than that? Have I ever mentioned that being a single parent since Jude was 6 mos old makes life weird? It does. I feel like I've lost touch with the girl I was in all of the life experiences I've had. So many things broke me that year with getting divorced. Every 6 mos or so I realize I'm coming more and more back to myself. And yet I still have so far to go. Some days I worry that the carefree, spunky side of me is lost forever. Somedays I wonder if it isn't such a bad thing since I'm certainly more gracious now than I was when I was younger. But there's just a general sadness for the girl I used to be. In some ways, I think this is true of all moms, but even more so when you're a single mom. You aren't with anyone who even remembers 'the old you'. You know? The thing about nights without my kiddo, is that I almost maybe remember and see glimpses of and kinda feel like the girl I grew up being. And then in a flash they are gone again. I hope as time goes on I grow more into myself and can find a balance between girl who let life happen and girl who's afraid of getting hurt again.
Thankful God is the Great Healer....and that he brought this amazingly gracious guy into my life.
Thankful that he is so much fun to be around and that he makes me laugh....
Thankful that he wears flannel all the time. Because I like my rustic men. And that he takes me camping. And that he likes being outdoors. And that he's a pretty good fire builder.
Thankful that he wears cowboy boots on the regular. I know a lot of non-Texans and non-southerners read this blog. It's cool that you will not understand how unbelievably attractive this is. But hey, I get it. I love him for all the things they symbolize- trustworthy, honest, hard working, full of integrity, strong character, godly, leader, loving, gentleman... Boots say a lot to me.
And because I wanted to continue to keep up with my list with Beth and Meg (see my linking page)...
766. Purchasing with Purpose
767. Fresh Baked Banana Bread
768. Words spoken by Jimmy that fill my fearful heart with peace and remind me God holds all things, even my fear.
769. That in my battles with fear I am my weakest and I can open myself up to God being His strongest.
770. Jude saying "good job with the banana cake mom"
771. The way God has been faithful to fill my desire to be loved with Himself
772. That my life circumstances have allowed me to not become complacent, but realize I need God.
773. Camping with Jimmy
774. Laughing as we try to figure out the tent
775. Perfect camping weather- not too hot during the day, not freezing at night
776. seeing animal tracks and lizards
777. mud caked thick and squishy
778. the lake in sunlight
779. taking picture by the campfire
780. laying next to the fire for hours talking
781. jimmy in flannel and cowboy boots
782. watching the moon go from overhead to no longer visible. and debating what makes the moonlight.
783. i saw 2 shooting stars!
784. Jude telling me God drank blood! in connection to the last supper in Sunday School
785. Jude asking me how we love Jesus. Then telling me we hug him.
786. Laying in bed while Jude reads his Bible to himself and realizing all my 2 minute bible stories at night have paid off because he KNOWS it. and being reminded his Bible learning isn't dependent on me to teach him but its what God does with all my little bits of loaves and fish.
787. Kids in love with multiple meaning words
788. Gifts from my buddy
789. Apologies for misbehavior and promises to change.
790. more multiple meaning word love from my class
791. puzzling and watching science shows with jimmy
792. making dinner for people i love
793. my big bradford pear tree all in bloom
794. my irises blooming
795. tea bag from a friend
796. laughing with colleagues over how my speech has influenced them... right!
797. Jude's giggles
798. starting 1 Kings
799. difficulties which keep me dependent on God alone
800. butterfly snacks from the sunshine committee
801. Nathan- hey Micah? Micah- what's up buddy? Nathan- can I borrow a sharpener? Micah- sure I'm always happy to share :)