An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. ~ Proverbs 12:25
This is the Bible verse I have been memorizing this week. I'm trying to commit some anxiety verses to memory, and my counselor suggested this one. It was short and easy to start with. **if you have any good recommendations for anxiety related verses to memorize, share please :) **
Monday I came home, wrote a blog about Hebrews and started this art journal entry. I'm sort of trying out art journaling just as a way to release some of the hidden thoughts/emotions/truths inside me. I am finding such a release from it, and hope I will keep up with it.
Tuesday, Wednesday, today I have gone through teaching following the Christmas break. My kids have been as lovely as they know how to be. But I just feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. And it's completely related to the reception of not kind words. Not to say that I have been verbally assaulted, because I haven't. But have you ever noticed how the atmosphere of a place can be completely set by the tone? How you can be saying (or listening to) perfectly legitimate things being said, but because of the way they are said your left with nothing by negativity. Some people respond defensively. Some people get angry. I tend to withdraw and inwardly try to deal with very hurt feelings. I don't do well with poor delivery. But a positive delivery. Well that inspires me. Energizes me. Helps me persevere. A kind word cheers me up.
It makes me wonder a lot about myself. Conviction wise. Just like adults have the power to set my atmosphere, I have the power to set the atmosphere in my classroom. I know I've delivered messages to my kids on days where I'm worn out that weigh them down. Or come home to Jude and delivered snappy messages that weigh him down. And it breaks my heart. I don't want to be that way. I want to nurture and be the perfect, godly teacher and mother. But I'm learning to accept that by myself I am too weak to be the person I want to be. But praise God, He is my strength.
I don't have any control over whether people around me will approach situations positively or negatively. But I have control over how I respond. I can respond to their negativity with love and gentleness. I can set a tone in my classroom that is based on kind words cheering them up. I can cry out to God who takes hold of my right hand and know He will help me. This year I'm looking to achieve 'free'. Today I want to be free from regrets over my failures, free from the power of others words weighing me down, and free to allow myself to depend fully on God's help.