There's a quote from the movie that has really stood out to me since we brought Jude home. As you know, we aren't getting much sleep because Jude eats every 2 hours. It's exhausting, naturally, getting up at night that much. I doubt Michael or I really get any deep sleep because we are only sleeping for 1 hour stretches at a time. I've been told it will get easier, but it's hard to keep that perspective sometimes. Now, Jude is really only 3 weeks old, so honestly, I'm just being impatient. I know we'll get there and when it happens, it will be wonderful.
Anyway, here's the quote:
It's all those good things you have in you. The love, the wisdom, the generosity, the selflessness, the patience. The patience! At 3 A.M. when everyone's awake because Abrahim is sick and he can't find the bathroom and he's just puked all over Katia's bed. When you blink, when you blink! And it's 5:30 and it's time to get up again and you know you're going to be tired all day, all week, all your life. And you're thinking what happened to Greece? What happened to swimming naked off the coast of Greece? And you have to be willing to make the family out of whatever you have.
You have to be so much better than you ever thought.
I just love that. It really gives me a real perspective on things. Yea, I'm not getting to sleep in anymore and I can't do all the things I could do 4 weeks ago. But reality is, it's not about me anymore. It's not about my sleep and my comfort and my happiness. It's about this little baby that we decided to have. We have to put ourselves aside and do what's best for him. I wish I could say it came as easily and beautifully as the quote, but we are human. Some nights I complain about getting up so much sometimes I just cry. Sometimes at night Michael and I get frustrated at each other because we both just want to sleep. However, during the day, the sun is up and we look in that little face and we realize the sacrifices are part of it. It's making us better people. And honestly, our relationship has gotten better as we have just had to depend on each other more for sanity.
My goal right now is to remember that quote because that's just reality. And reality is always so much better than a fantasy.