"The thistle is a prickly flower, aye, but how it is sweetly worn."

Friday, August 30, 2013

For Your Maker Is Your Husband- Repost

For Your Maker is Your Husband- Isaiah 54

Susannah has a Bride of Christ link up currently.  Technically, I have already written this post several months back.  But it says everything I would want to say already about my thoughts on this subject.  And it was one of my most viewed posts.  So cheers to a redo :)

For those of you who don't know, I've been working on reading through the Bible for basically 2 years now.  I've made it through the New Testament once and am back in Mark.  In the Old Testament, I've read Genesis through to 2 Kings and Job through to Isaiah.  Yesterday, I read Isaiah 54.  I actually read verses from this when I was reading through one of my favorite life changing books, Breaking Free- by Beth Moore.  (this book is a must read for all women I think, especially if you have experienced any type of abuse.)  She refers to part of this chapter when she talks about the dreams of all women to be fruitful and have children.

I had never read this chapter in its entirety, at least that I remember.  This chapter is for any woman who has struggled with fertility, or been abandoned, or divorced, or abused, or unmarried.  If you have struggled with any of the big 'women issues' or disenfranchisement with typical 'women dreams' in life, this chapter is for you.  I wish I could type it out in its entirety, but instead I'm going to link you to this chapter on another website.  Here.

I hope you read it and found it encouraging!  Here's where I have struggled:  I've been abandoned, I've been in an abusive relationship, I've worried about never getting married, in the past I worried about never having kids, I've worried that I won't be able to have kids by the time (if) I get remarried... I still struggle with some of these things.  Thankfully, with my experiences through healing from a divorce and abortion and all of those things, my struggles have become less.  But I do notice those thoughts every now and then.  I've just learned to trust God (in those areas- I still struggle a lot with faith).

I'm learning to accept reality with joy.  The reality is that Jude will be much older than any other brothers or sisters he may have.  But the joy is that I've gotten to pour into Jude more than I ever will with any child.  It's been just he and I as long as he can remember.  While it isn't ideal, it does create a special bond and almost friendship that you won't have otherwise.  I don't know that it's always a good thing, but I do think it is a special gift for the single momma.  And I have a feeling I will be close to Jude in a lifelong way because of this.  Another reality is that I will be 30+ before I get remarried and even later before I have more kids.  But the joy is that the road I've walked will make me extremely thankful when all of those things come along.  I will really appreciate them in ways I wouldn't have otherwise.  Another joy is the possibility of adoption.  Yes, in my dream world, I have 5 biological children.  But I do think that as you experience different parts of life, you get to experience different parts of God's character.  I do think that adoption allows you to understand the fact that God adopts us more than I currently do from the lack of adoption standpoint.  Whatever your life experience, wherever you are, there is joy to be found, and a way to see God differently because of it.  And that's always a gift.

This passage encouraged me in many ways.

* vs 1-2 tell us women to burst into song, shout for joy, do not hold back... How many times have you thought "I will do that sometime after I'm married... I will be able to do that more when I have kids... I would be able to do that if it weren't for abuse....  I know I have.  But God tells us to not let our dreams for the future nor our past hurts hold us back.  God has you where you are today for a purpose. A great purpose.  Dive into it fully!  If God is leading you to something, go for it with everything you have.  You can trust him to provide for the future along the way.  But don't spend your life waiting.  Serve him now.

* vs 1 also says that many more are the children of the desolate woman than she who has a husband.  At this point in my teaching career, I've had 120+ children that I have poured my entire soul into loving, teaching, molding in every way.  There is no way I could ever biologically have that many children.  But I consider them all mine.  And I've prayed for them all like they were mine.  And I love them all deeply.  I haven't forgotten any of them.  And you better believe that one of the first things I will do after I get to heaven (besides hugging my Grandma and my other baby) will be to ask God who out of my 'kiddos' is in heaven.  Or making sure He tells me when they do get there!

* vs 4 tells us to not be afraid, do not be ashamed, do not fear disgrace...  While I think this was more intense in Bible times since barrenness was considered a consequence of sin, women are still prone to thinking less of themselves when they experience these lost dreams.  But we don't need to feel that way.  I'm currently reading Loving God with Your Mind by Elizabeth George.  She quotes Alan Redpath as saying "there is nothing that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me.  If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose."  I love that!  Abuse came with great purpose!  Abandonment came with great purpose!  Single mommahood came with great purpose!  If I am single forever it will come with great purpose!  If I never have more children it will come with great purpose!  And rest assured,  all your past and present circumstances have come with great purpose too!  None of us know the future, but we can trust God that the future is full of great purpose as well.

* vs 5-10 is our love song I think.  A love song from our Maker who has an unfailing love that will not be shaken.  I personnally love the way it talks of how he loves and calls back the wife who married young only to be rejected.  He loves us so much.  So intimately.  Have you ever spent hours creating something?  For me this comes back to painting.  I remember every brushstroke.  I remember the colors I used and mixed.  I remember blending the colors just so.  I remember putting the paint thicker for certain reasons.  I was there for each second of the process.  And I put all of my energy into each square millimeter.  No teensy spot went unnoticed.  And the more I pour into a painting, the more I love it.  It makes it hard to give away a painting, because there are parts of me in that painting I could never get back.  Even though someone may love the painting and see beauty in it (he- like a husband) could never love it the way I (like God) could love it.  Because I created it.  Women are the painting.  And God has poured himself into each cell and second of our lives.  And even if a dream guy comes along to buy the painting, he will never love it as intimately as God loves us.  Not even close.  You are loved so deeply.  And that is worth far more than a house full of children or the best marriage or a pain free past :)



Danielle In The City said...

Always worth hearing. Over and over. It's still trying to sink in, because I struggle with really FEELING what isn't TANGIBLE. For whatever reason my faith is super strong in every area but this one. I'll get there, someday.

Susannah said...

This is beautifully written and so very true! We should not hold ourselves back for anything! God is our Redeemer and He is the one in control in our life. If He desires something in our life, He'll follow through in having it happen. If He desires us to serve Him in any way, we better listen. With all the abuse, childlessness, singleness, etc women deal with, this post is such a wonderful example of the truth of God's healing.

Summer Nicole said...

Thanks for sharing your heart and being so open and vulnerable! I love how God woos us out of whatever fears and "what if's" we may have, and romances us to trust Him and let Him be our leader. Loved reading your post. :)