Simple moments, simple pictures

This weekend turned into a pretty simple one when Jimmy told me Friday morning he was heading out of town for the whole weekend.  I had sort of expected Michael to get Jude, but thankfully, he didn't.  I'm in the middle of staff development back to school stuff, and I wanted to combine some fun stuff for Jude in addition to all the work I have to do.  That being said, no boyfriend weekends mean dirty hair, scarves, and no makeup.  As you can plainly see.

It was a good weekend to hit the donut store.  Also, I have no milk, no coffee creamer, etc.  So breakfast was gonna be scrounged up one way or another.  Might as well make an occasion out of it.  Donuts are soooo daggum good.  I really wish they weren't terrible for me.  Jude agrees.

We ran our errands so hopefully we can eat for the week.  Although, with back to school, it seems like the list grows insurmountably with all the things I realize I need.  In fact, no pictured is the time I went back to Hobby Lobby.  And back to Target.  All in the same day.

Jude asks me daily to go to the pool.  It's pretty hard to go when I've been working so late setting up my classroom, but I promised myself I would take him at least once this weekend.  As soon as our groceries were unpacked, we headed down there.  Earlier this week had been my happy mail day wherein I get a copy of Coastal Living, which is my favorite mag.  One day I'm going to live at the beach y'all.  One day.  Until then, I read Coastal Living....

It is kind of nice too, because Jude has gotten increasingly independent in the water.  Which means I can actually do things like sit on my lawn chair and read.  The baby stage is sure cute.  But- the older they get, the more you get time to breathe.  And well, I don't hate it.  Jude mostly threw his sticks and retrieved them.  Oh and made friend with literally every child in the area he was in.  He is the most social child.  And since I am amazingly shy- I do not even know how he came out like this.

Because sometimes you walk out of your room after changing out of your bathing suit and see your child building blocks with a mask....

I also got a back to school pedi today.  I thoroughly enjoyed my latte, my book, and have my feet massaged and prettied up.  Gotta look awesome for Meet the Teacher this week!  I even went with classic red so I could fit it as we 'Set Sail for Learning'.  Schools love to give us slogans for the year...  I'm kind of a fan of nautical stuff (see Coastal Living) so I'm not hating it...

Jude enjoyed couch naps and old quilts...

And I gave up finding valence curtains that I actually liked for my classroom and decided to make them with burlap, various blue and orange ribbon and fabrics, fabric adhesive tape, and hot glue....

So far, I actually really like how they turned out.  They were 100% no sew.  Time will tell if they pieces stay on.  But at least I have a glue gun handy in my classroom....

Blessing Pouring Down like Rain

David and all the Israelites were celebrating with all their might before God, with songs and with harps, lyres, and tambourines, cymbals, and trumpets. ~1 Chronicles 13:8

This verse has changed my life.  It's amazing to me how God can speak so intensely to your heart through sometimes the most normal of verses.  But this verse stopped me.  I had so many thoughts.

* What would it look like to celebrate with all my might before God?
* How excited do I really get about what God is doing in the world around me?
* Do I even have my eyes open to pay attention to what he's doing?
* What must David's heart have been like to be this way?

If there is one word to describe how I imagined David, it was joy.  Joy before the Lord.  Joy of the Lord.  Joy because He's in God's Presence.  Pure joy.  I realized how much expectation I have that joy come because I enjoy my job.  Or joy come because Jude is behaving well.  Or joy because Jimmy and I go on a really great date.  Always conditional.  Conditional joy.  Except the only Biblical condition of joy is God's Presence.

Well that's everywhere.  God is in and within everything.  During every circumstance.  Without condition.  Without exception.  So what am I doing wrong that my joy is based on conditions?

So I began to pray a pretty simple prayer- "Fill me with the Joy of the Lord.  May your Presence be my JOY.  May that be the only condition for my Joy.  May I be as excited over You as David was."

God has answered that prayer!

Almost immediately.  I have only prayed that prayer (daily) for I guess the last 2 or 3 weeks, but I have noticed a Huge difference in my perspective, my attitude, and honestly my discernment and perception of daily occurrences.  I literally feel like I am bubbling over.  The proverbial cup?  It runneth over y'all. I am blown away by the goodness of God, His love for me, and how His Presence and Hand are literally on me and my life!  How did I not see that each second dripped of Him before?  "One thing I do know.  I was blind but now I see!" ~ John 9:25.  I see His hand now- everywhere- all the time!

This has changed everything.  Everything.  I am overcome with my blessings.  I am praying as we speak that the Lord will recall them so I can share some with you.  But believe me, they are beyond count.

Today I went to work up in my new classroom.  I was going back and forth loading and unloading my car.  One of the custodian ladies was in the hall cleaning.  I stopped and chatted with her about being new, having taught in Denton, etc.  Her English wasn't very good, but we were able to get the gist of each other so to speak.  I went on with cleaning my room, and was getting hot, so I wanted to find the coke machine.  She was still in the first grade rooms, so I asked her.  She told me it was really expensive (like $2.50) and so I was just like oh bummer and put my money away.  She went and bought me a bottle of water at Walgreens down the street!  I don't even know where to start with this.  She wouldn't let me pay her back.  She's a custodian.  And an immigrant, so it's not like she has extra money.  I was completely humbled by her kindness.  And all from a 5 minute conversation.  She taught me so much today.  You never know how much the 5 minutes you spend with someone will possibly mean a lot to them.  I was completely blessed by her today.  And judging from the way she hollered down the hall "Ms Ashley, Ms Ashley!  Have a good weekend!" I feel like she was blessed by our conversation somehow too.  Only God could use 5 minutes for His glory!

Or how I signed up for this mug swap I mentioned a few days ago.  There were 800 people who signed up.  And we were randomly assigned.  I didn't give any information about Jude or my marriage or relationship life when I filled out the form.  Just gave some style hints like being eclectic, nature lover, stuff like that.  YET GOD had his hand in the girl whose name I got.  He paired me up with a young, single mom.  A young single mom whose going through a really rough time right now.  A rough road that I've already walked down.  Y'all I can't even wrap my MIND around this.  The odds of this are clearly slim.  But God.  But God works all things according to His will.  And His will is that His hurting children know His love.  His uses us, His body, to reach out.  And He literally handed me this opportunity, against all odds (except there are no odds for God) on a silver platter.  I can't do anything when I think about this except worship God with all my might.  I just can't.  JOY.  Pure Joy.

And so many more.  My new school is so many, many blessings.  Such a positive, excited vibe from everyone.  I'm blessed to form new relationships.  I'm amazingly excited about 1st grade.  I just get this feeling that I'm really going to do well here.  I went to some 1st grade math trainings this week, which were so encouraging.  I feel so much more capable of taking on a new grade.  And I'm excited about it!  And while I was there I learned that another school near me hired a new 1st grade teacher also.  This school was closer to me, and I certainly prayed that a door be open there.  But the door didn't open until after I was at Savannah.  For me this was a gift in two major ways.  One: it confirmed for me that 1st grade is really where God can use me best this year.  Kind of like I would have been in 1st no matter what if that makes sense.  It encouraged me in feeling qualified to be a good first grade teacher.  And it also encouraged me that I was at the right campus.  (at this point, I hadn't gotten up to my school to really meet any team members)  It encouraged me because if I was supposed to be there I would have been.  But I know God.  And I know He has a reason I'm where I am.  It just really made me feel assured of my decision.  

And all this was before I met my amazing team members.  Or learned that the first day back, we break into teams to do a CRAZY town wide scavanger hunt.  Think something you would do with Young Life.  Hilarious.  And this year- costumes are required.  Costumes to do things like have 3 team members take a picture next to a corvette.  Or find an Elvis record.  I can't even wait!  

And then there is the daily miracles of seeing this amazing little boy in my life.  And getting to watch how much Jimmy and Jude love each other.  And how they verbalize it.  I don't have words to describe what it does to my heart to watch their relationship develop.  I really don't think Jimmy could love on Jude much more than if he were his.  What a godly man!  But you know God loves us like that- through taking on loving something that was separate from Him.  

There are everyday miracles.  Everywhere.  All around you.  But the thing is, it's God's hand that you are seeing and feeling and experiencing.  He is so good and loving.  And He's there.  And my heart dances in my chest because I can't quite figure out how to contain HIM and the JOY HE IS.

Linking here today

Update: Jude's Room

I have been slowly attempting to update Jude's room for awhile now.  I have wanted to make a gallery wall and have slowly been buying and collecting prints off of Etsy or at Casey Jones Train Museum or who knows for seriously like the last 2 years.  

For my birthday this year, Joel gave me a picture of a British phone booth from his visit to London.  I was pondering what to do with it when I realized it would be the perfect addition to the wall I had been storing up and planning in my head.  

I was determined to get that done as part of my summer projects this year.  It took me until August to buy and return and buy the right frames for this.  But thankfully, it's done.  

The most exciting part of this is that Jude was so excited about it, which I didn't expect.  I sort of kept him out of the room while I was working.  As I've said before, my child is wild, so him in the room I'm working in is chaos- at least volume wise.  He loves to make noise.  I can't think in those conditions, much less work.  Suffice it to say, he stayed out of the room.  When I did let him in, he was so excited. I'm so glad I decided to capture his face with my camera.  He was just so excited.  1000 gifts!

He LOVED it!!!!  He told me over and over again how much he loved me and how thankful he was for his new pictures.  Along with some of the biggest hugs ever.  Talk about melting my heart.  He makes it so fun to give him things because he really gets so excited.  Sweet boy!

Here's the gallery wall I made.  It's a combo of the vintage train pictures from his nursery room, a few more modern looking train pictures, some Beatles references since he's named after them after all, and lastly the phone booth.  One day, I want that area to be a reading nook, but we aren't there yet :)

The license plate and Pullman car picture were originally going to be part of the gallery wall.  The Baltimore & Ohio and New York Central pictures had already been in different places in his room.  I decided to pull those and make a mini gallery wall over here, which I am glad I did.  And of course, Jude loves the concentration of trains.

I had also thought about adding this 1 year old photo set to the gallery wall, but decided to put it under his shelf when I moved the New York Central pic from under it.  I ended up liking having it separated out and divided into categories.  I have also added the midshipman hat that my brother passed down to Jude after graduating this year.  I updated the letters of his name awhile back, but am not sure if I ever posted about that.  The baseball is from when the Navy made the regional NCAA baseball playoffs a couple years ago.

The view when you look into the room.

And this night light.  I got it on zulily (actually the Beatles prints are off zulily too...).  I love this night light.  So much!

Anyway, I really like how it turned out.  As with all rooms in my house, they are constantly being updated or changed, but this is a good start I think to transforming it for a preschooler :)

Naptime Diaries and Saving My Sanity

Jude is currently in an awkward nap phase.  Technically speaking, he doesn't particularly need to nap.  Because Jude was graciously given with a 100% positive attitude, I kid you not, he does not have temper tantrums.  I'm serious.  He's probably had 5 in his entire life, atleast since turning 2.  So naps are not needed to 'check' his attitude.

Part of that is because I have my college degree arsenal of child guidance knowledge I guess.  More of it has to do with 6 years of dealing with insane emotional issues in title 1 schools.  Most of it has to do with my limited tolerance for crap.  But honestly, I really believe God was gracious with me.  I truly believe that He knew that my entire world was going to fall apart upon Jude being born and He gifted me with the easiest child known to man in order to allow me to work out my emotional issues after heartbreak.

That being said:  My child be wild.  His attitude may be awesome.  But his energy level is non stop through the roof from 7:30 to 8:30, with no nap.  I have heard people say oh my child is active.  And then I meet said child.  Jude always blows them out of the water with his energy level.  Jude has been noticeably active since he was at least 6 mos.  Just has crazy amounts of energy.  So while I am blessed in many ways, sometimes I feel like I make up for it because his noise level and activity level plum wear me out.

Enter my nap time conundrum.  Technically Jude doesn't 'need' a nap per se.  And when he takes a nap, left to his own, he will sleep about 3 hours!  And then of course he won't fall asleep until around 10:30.  Thankfully, because he is literally the most obedient child, he will just sit on his bed and sing/talk/read/play with his animals.  He may test the waters once and try to sneak out, but that's about it.  But regardless, he stays up late because he just isn't tired due to his nap.

I have been trying to give him his nap, but then going in and waking him up after about 1.5 to 2 hours.  That's been working decently well.  He doesn't fall asleep right away, but he is at least asleep by 9 or 9:30.  Which is about as ideal as I can get all things considered.  Hopefully, he can keep up the controlled naps with his sitter as I go back to school.  That combined with waking up and getting out the door early again should make it possible for him to go to sleep at night easily.

Here's the thing though.  I can't handle him NOT napping.  I need 'my' time.  Whether it is to catch up on 'Bachelorette' which I am shamelessly addicted to- even though this season is blah.  Or to clean or work on a project or read.  I am just not built to handle his energy level the entire day without a break.  The days I let him skip his nap, I am always so irritable starting around 3:00.  I would give anything for some peace and quiet.  And it's not his fault, but he can't calm himself down.  And I get snappy.  I hate thinking that my attitude would cause him to feel 'annoying' which he has to sense that.  And how sad!  Whereas if he naps, even for a little bit, it seems to calm his body down.  Maybe it's good for his body to have those calm hours as well.  Or maybe it's just that I get the couple hours of peace my brain needs to be refreshed and ready to keep up with him again.  Because on those days his enthusiasm mostly warms my heart and I respond with love.

Regardless, it's always tricky as your baby drops naps.  And then again as your baby becomes a toddler and does the drop down to one nap.  I suppose it only makes sense that determining when your child no longer needs a nap is equally as tricky.  But for now, for the sake of a peaceful and loving mother/son relationship, I think we are going to keep nap/quiet time in place for just a wee bit longer.

I Wanna Be Like Pops

Last week, Jude and I spent several days with my parents.  We try to go there for a bit at least once a summer.  This year, Jude has gone twice.  It's one of my favorite places.  Not because there is anything particularly special, but because my parents are some of the most unrushed people I know.  Things just always feel so calm and easy there, which I miss in my 'real life'.  Sometimes I think that's really what home is about- this place that seems to make time stand still.  I didn't grow up there, but having my parents there makes it home.

 We spent the days doing not a whole lot more than hanging out by the pool, reading, and cooking dinner.  90% of the time is spent outside.  We eat lunch and dinner outside.  Jude and my mom were always outside when I got up in the morning.  (Cheers to sleeping in btw- thanks mom!)  It's just so pleasant.

My mom is a huge fan of having fruit in the house.  This picture just says it all- laying around outside with fruit.  Just exactly what summer is supposed to look like and taste like.

One thing that Jude has started lately, is differentiating gender.  He loves to point out that I probably like the girl Bubble Guppies the best, but he loves the boys.  Things like that.  Things that show he is identifying with gender differences.

This is pretty normal for this age- at least as far as Freud is concerned.  I keep having flashbacks to my child psychology classes, because Jude is clearly going through his Oedipus complex phase.  In the twisted Freud terms that means Jude is in love with me and so decides to be like a guy because he loves me.  Gross.  In real life terms, it means he is realizing that he is separate and different from me, so he is identifying with the male gender which is like him.  Age appropriate- supposed to happen around 4.  And sorry this is so geeked out, but it fascinates me to watch this unfold quite like I learned about 10 years ago in college.

Anyway, Jude sat in the pool and ate just like Pops (my dad).  After this picture was taken, he decided that orange popsicles were his favorite because they are Pops' favorite.  Jude no longer likes purple popsicles because Pops doesn't like them.  You get the idea.  The cutest though was when we all went to buy my birthday present, which was a tent.  My dad was carrying it through the store perched on his shoulder.  While at the store, we also got Jude a sleeping bag.  And guess how Jude had to carry his sleeping bag?  Perched on top of his shoulder just like Pops.  What a little man!  The cutest.  I apologize profusely for not taking a picture.  :(

In other manly events, Jude kept it classy by being shirtless with his pants hanging down and his underwear showing in public.  One night we ate dinner along Lake Houston, which is by my parents house.  They have this mini splash pad in the middle of all these restaurants along the lake.  It's really a fantastic setting.  Plus it's free.  Jude enjoyed following the older girl around the most ;)  Those 7 year old girls are pretty awesome in his opinion.

Saturday we did something 'fun' since my dad was off.  We took Jude to the Houston Children's Museum, which was new for him.  At first, I was a little unsure about it because all the areas seemed geared to older kids.  We did finally find the younger kid section though, and it got much better.  As far as exhibits go, I think his fave was the golf balls.  Basically you roll them over ramps and learn about whatever physics are involved with balls.  My dad was also thrilled.

My mom and I were in the corner with confused looks on our faces.  We do not do physics.  Side note- the issues I had in chemistry and physics and biology in high school were literally ridiculous.  For whatever reason, I managed to always have class with my friend Amy, and we literally ruined every experiment.

* acid burns on a sweater? check
* passed out during a dissection? check
* mouse trap car that didn't move a millimeter? check
* rocket that would not launch? check
* choking on gas because we forgot to turn it off? check

Jude loves science.  All I know is that that is NOT from me!  I digress...

His second favorite thing was this play involving superheroes and a mystery bandit.  He is all over the superheroes these days.  Technically, he doesn't watch these with me, but boys just seem to know this stuff!

At the end, they invite the kids to get on stage with them.  Jude rushed the stage.  He had no inhibitions about dancing and being seen by all.  Again, he did not get this from me.  I am so so shy.  But he loved it- and I love that about him.  He knows no strangers, and immediately embraces everyone.  It's pretty amazing :)

He took a pic with 'Telephone Man' who he is now obsessed with.

As well as some of the 'everyday superheroes' from the play.  Yea!  Overall, it was just a wonderful, relaxing long weekend.  I'm already missing my parents and wishing for the ease of life at their house.

Last Week in Pictures

 Using stickers to make a Pirate Lookout.  Ahoy!

 Gardening and playing in mud puddles

 Playing catch inside because of so much rain.  At least his arm is improving :)

Every southern woman plants crape myrtles...  This one has been shooting up mighty fine.

Why are these two so daggum perfect?

This summer has been so weird for North Texas.  Typically July is spent in sweltering heat of 110*.  That doesn't even include the heat index.  And rain?  Well North Texans typically don't remember what rain is until about October.  But God has blessed us mightily this summer with a low 90s summer and an amazing blessing of rain.  Lord knows we still need more to get our lakes and rivers back up, but He is Providing.  Hallelujah!

Incidentally, you may notice my blog changing.  There for awhile, I considered growing my blog, and I kinda did start to.  And then I realized something- I hate blogging for that.  Don't get me wrong there are a handful of people I am beyond blessed to be 'friends' with now.  I love those people.  But the incessant need to keep up with this link up and that link up and make sure I comment on X number of blogs so said blogger and I can continue to build a 'friendship' got to be overwhelming.  With a few exceptions, I just began to wonder why am I concerned more about online stuff than people I know in real life.  Silly.  

So now I blog when I want.  And I write what I want.  And if there happens to be a link up I already know about, I might do it.  But if not, no big deal.  I say that because if I am not really keeping up with sharing my button with you or yours with me, it's nothing personal.  I just don't feel the need to blog all the time.  Or if I don't comment as much as I once did, it's because I want to focus on real life.  I appreciate all of you who have kept up with me.  I'm still going to be blogging, and if you follow me, you will see it.  But if you don't, thats ok too.  I'm excited for all you who have found your niche with blogging.  It's been pretty wild to see some of you grow so fast!  And that's awesome.  I just wanted those of you to know that I am still reading, but not as closely as before.  Or at least not commenting as much.  But in my heart I do adore you all :)  May God use your blog in amazing ways!

Throwback Thursday

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Shutterfly allows you to customize your photo book just the way you want.

Here is the photo book I made for Jude's 3rd month.  That month we got so much snow here in North Texas!  It was a great time for cuddling a snuggly little one.  Hard to believe he is already 3.5 years old!  He's still the best present I've ever gotten!