Baby Cakes

 A few weeks ago, I posted online about "Baby Cakes makes 5".  I was 14 weeks pregnant and had just finally gotten a sono of our little one done.  It was a precious sono because the baby was kicking so happily and moving that sweet hand up by his mouth.  It was an amazing moment seeing him move about on screen after what has been a bit of a trying pregnancy.

You see, the insurance issues with this pregnancy have been unreal.  To be honest, they only just ended a few days ago due to the insurance company getting my birthdate wrong and apparently, having an entire 30 days to get it corrected.  Insane.  Add to that the unbelievable, never-ending nausea that has accompanied this pregnancy, and it's just been more trying than some others.  Especially when it took 14 weeks to get to the sono.  In retrospect I am so thankful we didn't see him until 14 weeks because the image of his happy little self has sustained me.

By the grace of God, the receptionist at my ob pulled some strings and got me into the Dr despite the incorrect birthdate.  She is an angel, truly.  Even still, I didn't get into the Dr for the first time until 16 weeks.  I had a quick sono, checked the heartbeat, determined the due date, which they dated as March 14, and headed down for bloodwork.  

A week later, I went in for another appointment, more of a checkup of sorts because it had been over a year since I had been there.  At the end the Dr, sat down with me to tell me the bloodwork came back with markers for Down Syndrome.  In the office, it wasn't nearly as shocking as it was when I got to my car.  Or when I got home and told Jimmy.  In some ways, it didn't shock me because I am older and risks just increase.  And in others you just can't really be prepared for the unexpected.  

Even now, do I understand how I feel?  Not really.  It's mostly just an opportunity for prayer.  We won't know for sure until he's born.  There is a test we can do, but it isn't without risks, so not worth it in my opinion.  We will be meeting with a maternal fetal specialist soon for an in depth sono.  I'm praying lots of things.  Praying for a fully regular set of chromosomes for this baby.  Praying for no internal organ malfunctions for this baby.  Praying for best case scenarios.  Praying for the peace and grace to walk through the next 5 months of the unknown.  Praying for the grace to handle the unexpected in the future.  

But mostly, just remembering that Even If (as Habbakkuk prays), I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.  I know The Lord enough to know He isn't failing me now, has never failed me before, and my future is good.  This baby's future is good.  He has walked with me through abortion, divorce, the abandonment of so many friends, the fear of my ex taking Jude, the struggle with a job I hated, the struggle with panic attacks and anxiety, and unbelievable sadness over some things in Jimmy's life.  And yet every single one of those situations turned around miraculously, beautifully, immeasurably more than I could have ever thought or imagined.  So I KNOW that this will be the same.  For that I praise the Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and maker of our little baby boy, Theordore Fisher, our little "gift of God" and in honor of my great grandfather whose memory is never shared without fondly talking about how jolly he was and always whistling or singing.  He was the happiest baby on the sono, and I believe he will be a JOY.

Homeschool Freedom

 As probably anyone who has ever homeschooled probably would tell you, there is a constant trial and error over everything from curriculum to schedule.  We originally followed the regular public-school schedule because that just seemed logical.  That was what I knew.  That was what Jude's friends did obviously.  Having gone from my own school experiences, to college, to teaching public school, to having kids, honestly, my entire life has run on a fall semester, spring semester, summer break schedule.  

But then you learn, as with so many things in homeschool, that you can literally do what you want.  Curriculum itself is generally designed in 160-180 days, but how you divide that up those days can vary tremendously.  Do you want to do 4 days or 5 days?  Six weeks on 1 week off with a summer break?  9 weeks on with a 1-week break?  You name it.  Endless possibilities.

Because Jude was so used to living in the summertime, no school mentality, he expected breaks then.  My younger 3 have no such experiences.  They have had a new schedule every year honestly.  I've noticed with them that having some number of structured activities is good for their brains, keeps them grounded and just honestly, they enjoy it.  They start fighting when they get bored, break things when they get bored, etc.  

This past year, we did take July off because we had just arrived from California, I had just found out I was pregnant with Baby 5, and so many other things were going on.  But we started back in August trying a work the first 3-4 weeks of the month, take the last month off of school schedule.  I feel like this schedule has the potential to be easy because I can generally guarantee the week off with coincide with Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It is such a nice feeling to just have to push through for 3-4 weeks knowing you will get a break soon.  It provides regular breaks, so there are still full weeks of just sheer abandon for the kids.  

It's been great as the teacher/planner because I can choose things to focus on for a month at a time, jot out a road map, get a bird's eye view without trying to plan out an entire year or semester.  Since I plan by the month, I have also been able to adjust each month's activities to something more manageable.  Not surprising, I bit off more than I could chew originally.  But with each month that has passed, I am able to fine tune those extra bits to something that I know I can do that month.  This will particularly important as we get to March/April when we do welcome a new baby.  I am hoping we can just take a week or two and then soft pedal through the main subjects, leaving the lagniappe behind.  But who knows.  I know enough about babies to say just because I've done this 4 times doesn't mean I will understand what to do with this particular baby.  I've yet to have one that didn't throw me some curve balls.

Regardless, coming off our September break, gazing ahead to our upcoming October month of school, I am really loving this way of scheduling.  I find it so lifegiving and manageable.  It's great for little kids for sure.  Their little brains with getting mushy towards that last week of September.  Hopefully they will be able to focus again tomorrow.  It's great for me too.  It's just a lot to homeschool 3 kids.  Beyond homeschool and getting dinner on the table, it doesn't seem like there is much time.  But knowing that break is coming at least allows you to get to those leftover things eventually.  

(Jude is on a more normal schedule, at least for now.  Mainly this is due to him starting in September because up until mid-August we had planned to send him to public school.  Even without that, things are just different with high school.)  

Am I saying that I finally found the perfect homeschool schedule.  Doubt it?  It's highly possible that not having a big chunk of weeks to take off will bother me.  It's highly possible that next year we will do something different.  But right now, it suuuuurrrreeee feels like this schedule just flows.