Panic! at the Doner's

I know my previous post referred to Monday as being the hardest day of my life. I spoke to soon. Last night was the WORST night of my life. You may recall that Jude has been sick with a cold and runny nose. The doctor told us to put saline drops in his nose to loosen it up to help suction it out. I've done this several times and it has gone fine, other than Jude really hates it. Last night at his 3:00 feeding though, it did not go so well. I'm not sure if I was just tired and not paying attention and put too much of the drops or if Jude was tired and not prepared for it down his nose. Regardless, Jude just froze. He just quit breathing and clamped his mouth shut. His eyes started watering and his face turned red. I can't get his scared little face out of my head. He just looked absolutely terrified. I've never felt like such a horrible person in my life. I couldn't get him to snap out of it. Michael was still at work. I started panicking. Sadie started panicking and threw up several times. I called 911. While I was on the phone, he did snap out of it, thankfully. (This all happened in a span of 2 minutes.) He finally spit up everywhere, and starting crying while I was on the phone. The paramedics did still come, but luckily Jude was fine. It may not have been as big of a deal as I made it and Jude would have been fine if I didn't call them. I just panicked. Regardless, Jude was fine. I was not fine however. I'm not sure I'm even fine now. Like I said, I can't get the look of my terrified baby out of my head. I really didn't go back to sleep last night. Great thing since I have work in the morning. I just can't imagine the other scenario. Jude is such a huge part of my life now. Praise God for being faithful and there for my little boy. I hope I never have to deal with anything like this again.

Here is Jude today doing good and sleeping with Dad. I'm so thankful for these two!