They say life is a journey and 2025 has had me walking that out quite literally. In February, we found out Jimmy had the opportunity to go be part of a team working on the LA fires. It was rumored to take up to 9 months, although it ended up only being 5. Going into it, we knew it would be a great experience for the kids. But I didn't expect it to totally reorient me so completely. Journeys change you certainly. But in the wandering, suddenly I was able to see things so much more clearly.
This has shown up in so many surprising ways. The most unusual was realizing how much NOLA still resides deep in me. I've been in Texas now for 23 years. New Orleans hasn't been at the forefront of my mind since grieving for my friends during Katrina really. And yet LA felt like home in ways I didn't realize I had missed so much. I forgot how wonderful diversity everywhere you look is. I forgot how I feel so much more at ease with a variety of cultures. It feels like home- because I didn't grow up in a monotone world. The lightness and freeness and happiness that bubbled up in me just surprised me. I had no idea how that was just lying dormant in me.
I had forgotten how much I just like to take it slow. LA is so easy going and relaxed. I forgot how nice it is to live without any real plan, any real schedule, any real concern. Growing up in New Orleans, this was absolutely the mentality. Life just meandered its way through the day like a slow going bayou. I have been living 23 years cranking out schedules that make me grumpy in mimicry of a world I didn't really grow up in. And I had just completely forgotten who I once was. But in LA I met myself again.
Jimmy and I joked often about "be here now" and its become a bit of a family tag line for us. How did I live in a hotel room with 3 kids for 7 weeks- I chose be here now. How did I regroup when all our clothes got stolen (after crying)- be here now. It became a looking at what is- and not what isn't. Be Here Now is so freeing. I don't know anything about my future. To this day we are still walking through a whole lot of questions. But I can be here today. I have a house today, food today, tasks to accomplish today. Tomorrow will be here when it gets here. New Orleans taught me to enjoy today. I can dance to a song I love right here now. I can eat a delicious meal right here now. I can laugh with a friend or a stranger right here now. And California reminded me so much of those truths I had long forgotten in the midst of 80mph speed limits and mega lanes of traffic and hyper scheduled activities.
It's funny to me that of all the things I learned when I went away, the biggest was Remember who you were. Take off these heavy articles of clothing that never fit who you were. Be here now.
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