My Petit Sous Chef

Today on my last day off, I made chocolate chip cookies. Comfort food is always a given 1) when it's cold and 2) when you're sad. And I'm always sad to leave Jude.

A month ago making cookies would have soooo not happened with Jude. At least not when I was home by myself.

Now that Jude is almost 4 months old things have gotten easier. (Yes, on Friday he really will be 4 months old. Unbelievable). Since he can hold his head up + sit in his bumbo chair + be entertained by watching me do pretty much anything, the world has reopened itself up to me.

So today, Jude became my little sous chef. While I was baking, I couldn't help but look forward to making cookies with him when he can really help. I have so many fond memories of baking with my mom. Perhaps that's why I'm so in love with baking in the first place.

PS I won't fill you in on all the ridiculous songs I sang during the midst of this baking extravaganza. Gotta give the little people what they want....

A Year Ago Today- A different kind of Valentines

Hey Jude,

Today is Valentine's Day. All day I keep thinking back to where we were a year ago on this very day. Your dad and I had the most perfect Valentine's at home dinner ever last year. One of the perks of being married to a pretty awesome chef. The meal was amazing, especially dad's mushrooms stuffed with brie, chives, and lemon juice. That was also the last time I had a glass of wine.

(I know you're thinking, surely you did not write me a letter about a meal, mom. I know you're from New Orleans, but come on!) Relax, this blog centers around you. During dinner, I tactfully and hesitantly brought up the fact that maybe possibly there might be a slim chance or maybe a really really big chance that I was pregnant. Talk about Valentines dinner conversation, especially when no one was planning on babies for another year or two.

Your dad just seemed surprised and shrugged it off. We went about enjoying our dinner, not really thinking about what the possible (inevitable) reality might be. Maybe we just wanted to have one more 'normal' evening before our lives changed forever.

Eventually that evening, your father, big brave man that he is, went and purchased a pregnancy test. It sat on the bathroom counter for quite awhile, but eventually I faced the music and within a matter of minutes we saw that baby blue plus sign.

That plus sign changed our lives. We knew it then. We were both terrified. I think we both cried that night because we realized we could no longer be selfish. We didn't know what to expect when you were here. We didn't know if we were ready to be parents. We didn't know if we could afford it. Your dad had never changed a diaper. There were so many questions.

Looking back on everything a year ago, it's amazing to see where God's brought us thanks to you. God was using you as part of his plan from the very beginning. Those questions that plagued us are not really terrifying at all. Being selfless for someone like you isn't difficult, it's the most exciting/rewarding/fun thing in the world. Who cares about shopping when you smile at me? The money thing was a waste of worry too. Thanks to God's provision, we are making all our ends meet. He even led us to the perfect house for you to grow up in. All of those things fell in to place eventually. Even dads and diaper changes have gone together seemlessly.

The most amazing thing is just how God knew you were exactly what we needed. My relationship with your father is even more significant now. We aren't just together because it's fun and we love to be together, you've given our relationship a purpose. We have a common cause. Antoine de Saint-Exupery said "Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." You made that true in our lives, and the direction we are looking at is towards you. We are two completely transformed people these days. We aren't completely selfless yet, but we're getting there. We couldn't be the parents you need without God and it's absolutely amazing where he's brought us in the past year. We love you buddy!

Momma

A year ago today you were the size of a poppyseed. Here is your first picture taken at the beginning of March when you were about 6 weeks along.

Here you are today celebrating your first Valentines day!

You've changed a lot in a year! You can smile. You can make all sorts of sounds. You are the best part of my day every day!

And your hair is out-of-control.

Who Dat Superbowl

Last Sunday was Jude's first Superbowl. We aren't really an NFL family, but it was still important. We want Jude to be well rounded. Ha!

I was more excited than normal just because New Orleans was actually in it. And of course eventually won. Please do not mistake me for a bandwagon fan. I am definitely not. I am honestly not capable of getting in to it. And believe me, in college I tried.

I just know so many people who have literally waited their whole lives for the Saints to go to the superbowl. I was really excited for them.

So we went to a Superbowl party and cheered on the city of my childhood. And we are so happy that they won. And I have to say Drew Brees is a really good guy + strong Christian and I like that. Can someone get him on I am Second please?

Anyway, Jude had a great time. Ok not really. We went to our friend's house where he met their baby for the first time. Chase cried. Which made Jude cry. He was so sad when he heard someone else cry. During college, I learned that babies show empathy to other babies. Didn't realize how true it was until Jude proved it. Sweet and sad at the same time. I missed most of the game because Jude was eating and then needed to get home for bed before it was over. Oh well, my official congrats to my old friends.

Grandma Great

Jude is a very loved baby. He's been given 3 baby quilts. Eventually, I will post pictures of Jude with his other two baby quilts. Until then, here is the first installment. Incidentally, I love quilts, especially baby quilts. There is nothing more comforting, and for babies, nothing more adorable. Here are some pictures of Jude with the quilt my grandma made him.

This is really sentimental to me. For one thing, it's my grandma. For another, we found out after Christmas that she has lung cancer. She's in her late 80s, and her lung is not strong enough to remove the cancer via surgery. So she is doing the whole chemo/radiation thing. Given the whole scenario, it really means a lot that Jude has this. A lot of love goes in to making a quilt for someone. I hope Jude knows how much his great grandma's and gram loved him.

Jude and I will be going to Annapolis to visit Joel in March. I'm going to drive to my grandma's to see her while I'm so close. It will be really awesome for her to meet Jude. These moments are too precious....

Please be praying for my grandma....

I will probably go on and on every weekend on here about how happy Saturday mornings make me. What's a working momma to do but look forward to them? Thanks to the great Denton snow storm of 2010 and President's Day, I get a 5 day weekend. That's like 5 Saturdays in a row. There are no words as to how I have enjoyed my time.

Oh I love this one. I know I'm his mom, but I seriously think Jude has the cutest mouth!

Waking up with Jude and Michael is. the. best. I love everything they say to me. I love that they both love me even with my morning breath. I love that they both think I'm funny. I love that my happiest moments are spent with them doing absolutely nothing at all.

It's amazing how age (inevitably?) changes you. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved kids- hence the whole teaching thing. However, I always thought life would probably get boring once it became the same day in and day out. Boy was I wrong.

Jude hangs out in his oh so favorite bouncer while we make breakfasts on Saturday morning.

There really is nothing mundane at all about watching your child grow and change. Yes, I technically do the same thing. I could probably time and predict the order of events down to the minute. Yes, if I told this to my 18 year old self, I might get a weird look.

People always say it, but it is so true. Having a baby totally changes you. Granted, I am an old soul and turned 80 around my 21st birthday. Irrelevant. Even my 80 year old self enjoyed the freedom of being able to sleep in and go to dinner without packing 2 extra outfits, 3 extra diapers, wipes, toys, pacifiers, pacifier chains, blankets, burp cloths, and carseat. I could go on. Sometimes in weak moments I think, man it was so much easier when ____.

But then I look in this sweet face and I watch him unbelievably excited by his bouncer (see above) and I forget all about fine dining. I'm just too wrapped up in my new life to really ever miss the old. Michael and I talked about how we were having kids early so they could leave home while we were in our 40s and young. Screw that. We had kids early because it's just so stinkin awesome to have kids. The end.

various videos of the things that make my (early) mornings rock

Baby Sneezes

Never Still

Power to the People

Wow Hands

PS this blog should have been written on Feb 6th. It's just I don't have much time during the week. Such is life.

Pajama Parties

So since we've had several snow days, its been a non stop pajama party in our house. Here are some pics and vids of Jude having a good time and just generally takin it easy, enjoying having momma and dad home for the fun.

Snow day 1

Snow day 1 cont- can you guess Jude's new favorite beatles song? I'll give you a hint. It's not 'Hey Jude'

Snow day 2- Ok this video is not really playing, but he's started a new 'trick'. When I put him on his tummy for tummy time (which he still hates, as you can tell) he does this head butt crawl scoot thing which I was trying to document. What the heck?

Believe it or not, he's actually watching Harry Potter. He's really amazed by the television. Go figure since I am one of those psycho mom's who plans to limit tv time to 30 minutes a day.

I love how cuddly he looks with his bear and burp rag and boppy.

I finally have his attention. (I impressed him with my patronus charm.)

SMILE!!!

Chow Time, Breastfeeding, and my favorite bottle

Warning: this blog may not interest you if you are not in to breast feeding.

For all you soon to be moms or current moms out there who are breastfeeding or plan on it, I thought I would share my experience because for me, it has been wonderful and successful. At the beginning, I had my doubts. Jude and I experienced the usual frustrations of mother-baby attempts. He was an adept 'sucker' from the get go. (yes, I know how awkward that sounds) He didn't always have the easiest time latching on though. In the hospital, I resorted to tears a couple of times because I was terrified this meant it wouldn't work and I would have to formula feed my baby and blah blah blah. I called the lactation nurse in there soo many times. I'm sure she was glad I left.

I was really blessed to have my mom with me when we came home. My mom successfully breastfed all 3 of us, and it makes a difference having someone say 'oh this is normal' when you are postpartum and freaking out. Or maybe I'm just high strung. Regardless, my mom imparted one real pearl to me in the midst of this and it completely changed my thinking about everything, not just breastfeeding.

Jude is learning EVERYTHING for the first time right now. How to breathe on his own. How to let me know he needs something. What day is. What night is. How to eat. He is learning HOW to eat. I mean, prior to birth, everything was just done for him through me with 0 effort. Now all of a sudden he had to work with me. Praise Jesus for instincts, but even still, that's a lot of learning for such a little person.

Once I realized that I was able to relax and be patient as Jude learned the ropes of eating. Being a teacher has helped me understand the importance of that. Some kids get things right away and some you have to be patient until eventually the concept clicks. I think eating is the same way. My point, breastfeeding will work for you most likely, but it requires patience. The mom is learning and so is the baby. Learning is not usually an instantaneous process.

After a week at the most, probably more like 5 days, the latching issue was solved, and we moved on to bigger and better issues like keeping Jude awake. He was such a sleepy newborn. Even now at almost 4 months, he tends to nap a lot. He just likes his sleep. Keeping him awake through a feeding, especially night feedings was a huge chore. We resorted to all many of baby torture devices such as squeezing feet, clapping, ice cubes, you name it. Most of them only had 50% chance of even working. He usually squirmed and went back to sleep. Little rascal. He has since out grown this thankfully. However, something worth remembering is that newborns are sleepy. Sometimes you have to help them realize they need to eat longer than a few minutes. You aren't a bad parent for keeping your baby awake through a feeding. Reposition and 'torture' until they feed long enough. Again, persistence is the key.

Here is Jude using his Playtex drop ins bottles. Did I mention he can hold them and feed himself from them now? He's not even 4 months old yet. He gets too big too fast!

After I started back to work, we encountered another breastfeeding hurdle as Jude began bottle feeding some. At the time, I was using playtex ventair and avent bottles. They fit the bill as far as switching between bottle and breast in that they were slow flow wide nipples. However, I quickly learned there was more to it than that. Jude began showing a preference for bottles after that first week which tore me to bits I have to say. In my tears, I researched a way to not have to pump the rest of his feeds. It was through this that I learned that not all slow flow wide nipples are created equal. We switched to playtex drop ins because 1) these nipples actually have the slowest flow on the market and much of what babies come to prefer is having to work less hard at getting food and 2) the drop in liner mimics the breast because the suctioned out ear creates more work for the baby essentially. As soon as I read this, I sent Michael out for these bottles. Jude hasn't had a problem with switching between bottle and breast since then. They aren't the fanciest, most expensive bottle, but they work the best for breast and bottle feeding. Note: I never feed Jude his bottle just in case that confuses him or makes him think I should always feed him his bottle.

Overall, breastfeeding has been one of the best experiences of motherhood. I always was grossed out by the thought of it, but resolved myself to do it because that was right for my baby. Now it's become one of those things that, like childbirth, is this beautiful, natural phenomena. Sure, there are the fringe benefits of it being the most healthy for your baby. Not to mention it helps the shedding of pounds upon pounds of babyfat. The real benefit though is the bonding with the mother and baby. Feeding Jude is one of the (many) most special times of my day. I love that it's just him and me and our rocker and my book or my Bible and God. It's so relaxing. I get to forget about the world and deadlines and lesson plans and cleaning the kitchen and just focus on this beautiful little boy God blessed me with. I have a feeling when I look back and reminisce on Jude's infancy when he's much older, one thing I will recall often is feeding him. It's our time together, which is truly sacred.